What Happens When Someone Gives Their Partner the Silent Treatment

what is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a behavior where a person intentionally stops communicating with their partner, usually in response to a perceived or actual wrongdoing. It can have various effects on a relationship, depending on the situation and how long it lasts.

In the short term, the silent treatment can cause hurt, confusion, and frustration for the recipient, as they may feel ignored, disrespected, or shut out. They may also experience anxiety and uncertainty, wondering what they did wrong and how to resolve the issue. The longer the silent treatment lasts, the more harmful it can be to the relationship, as it can create a sense of emotional distance, erode trust and intimacy, and damage communication.

In some cases, the silent treatment can be a form of emotional abuse, as it can be used as a tool for control and manipulation. The person giving the silent treatment may be trying to punish their partner, exert power over them, or avoid dealing with the issue at hand. This behavior can be particularly harmful if it becomes a pattern in the relationship or if it's used to escalate conflicts.

seek professional help

If you or someone you know is experiencing the silent treatment in a relationship, it's important to address the issue and communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Seek professional help if necessary, and remember that healthy relationships require mutual respect, trust, and effective communication.

Read more - Five Losing Strategies Used by Couples

Do you want to reignite your love, improve your relationship and communication skills? Let me guide you through the process.

Terry Real's Five Losing Strategies & Five Winning Strategies

Five Losing Strategies used by couples:

Terry Real, a prominent American psychotherapist, speaker, and author who is best known for his work on men's issues and relational psychology, has identified five common losing strategies that people use in their relationships. These strategies, which he describes in his book "The New Rules of Marriage," can be destructive and ultimately lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Here are the five losing strategies:

1. Being Right

• Arguing about whose view is more accurate

• Fuels self-righteous indignation

2. Controlling Your Partner

• Can be direct or indirect manipulation

• No-one likes being controlled. It leads to retaliation & payback

3. Unbridled Self-expression

• Saying whatever is on your mind with no kindness or respect

4. Retaliation

• Offending from the victim position

• I’ll make you feel what I feel

• Can be overt or covert (passive aggressive)

5. Withdrawal

• This is different from taking a responsible time-out or responsible distance

taking

• Comes from resignation or retaliation.

Five Winning Strategies used by couples:

In addition to the five losing strategies that Terry Real has identified, he has also outlined five winning strategies that can help couples build healthy and fulfilling relationships. Here are the five winning strategies:

1. Shift from Complaint to Request

• Learn how to speak and ask for what you want

• Make your requests specific, behavioural & reasonable.

2. Speak to Repair with Love & Respect

• Contract with your partner to engage in a 10 minute dialogue or repair

conversation

• Remember love

• Use the 4 steps of the feedback wheel

  • What I saw & heard

  • What I made up about it

  • How I feel about it

  • What I’d like

• Let go of the outcome.

3. Listen With Compassion

• Listen to understand – you don’t have to agree

• Acknowledge whatever you can

• Give whatever you can

4. Empower Each Other

• Acknowledge the gifts the responder has offered

• Ask what you can do to help the responder deliver

• Acknowledge whatever you can & give whatever you can.

5. Cherish each other

• Give your partner specific positive feedback & appreciations daily

• Nourish yourself & your relationship with time & energy

• Practice smart generosity

• Give back to the world.

Do you need relationship help?

If you need help with your relationship, please contact me to discuss your situation and find out how we can help.